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Do You by ~darkskada:icondarkskada:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Horror & Macabre > Spoken Word




Do you have any idea how much your words hurt?
It's not like I choose this.
Oh yes.
I woke up this morning and I thought,
"I know, I'll slice my flesh to ribbons."


Do you think I do not get enough shit already?
It's not like I haven't heard it before.
Oh yes.
Every word you speak is new to my ears.
"What's that? It's bad for me? Oh, I didn't know."


Do you have the slightest notion of how it feels?
It's not like it's a pleasure thing in the sexual sense.
Oh yes.
I get off on cutting myself, on hurting myself.
"Mmm, yes, give me more, feel the pain."


Do you understand that it's not about death, but life?
It's not like I'm trying to kill myself when I cut.
Oh yes.
Each scar is a failed suicide attempt.
"I must really suck at killing myself, to have failed so often."


Do you realize how fragile I am around anyone?
It's not like I'm invincible.
Oh yes.
I can listen to you berate me for hours, and still take more.
"You are right. I am a horrible, selfish person. I see it now."


Do you realize how strong I am after everything?
It's not like I'll fall apart if you speak to me.
Oh yes.
I am a weakling and I cannot handle a conversation.
"Please, don't hurt me, I must be breakable to have survived for so long."


Do you realize that I am finding my own spiritual path?
It's not like I need you to guide me.
Oh yes.
I am a bad little Christian girl who has turned her back on God.
"I'm so sorry. I have sinned. You can burn me at the stake."


Do you realize that I only want your love?
It's not like anything you're doing is helping me.
Oh yes.
We've spent an hour discussing my issues and I feel so loved.
"Thank you for showing me how much you care."
©2002-2009 ~darkskada
:icondarkskada:

Author's Comments

A friend of mine "discovered" that I self-injure. It led to a long and painful discussion. She made several hurtful comments, and I just sat there, wishing I could be anywhere else. (She had me trapped in her car, en route to a hip-hop party.) There is a lot of sarcasm in this, so please don't take it at face value.

Comments


love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconfallacies:
~fallacies Dec 9, 2002, 8:45:54 AM
Very interesting and insightful to for me to see this from the other side. A loose friend of mine (like barely acquaintence) once cornered ME to TELL me that she cut herself... it was pretty akward but i think i handled it allright... uhm, yeah. anyway. Well executed thoughts.

--
Repent! There is still time for you to love Evad.
:iconthetangyzip:
~thetangyzip Dec 9, 2002, 9:09:39 AM
The poem is very good, I like it a lot. The pattern is very origional and the sarcasm works well with the mood of the poem.

Now aside from the poetry, everything in quotes is sarcasm, right? So when you say, "Thank you for showing me how much you care." you really think that a person who wants you to stop cutting yourself doesn't care about you? I can gather from the rest of the poem that this person is going about it the wrong way, trying to guilt-trip you and everything, but that's only because this person must care about you a great deal.

Sorry to take up so much space, just that I was in a similar situation once, I know how it feels. This poem is a great piece of work. Good job.

--
What?
:iconindolentinfidel:
~indolentinfidel Mar 28, 2003, 10:41:31 PM
Well.. interesting. The repitition of "Oh yes" goes along well with the poem's sarcastic tone. Sort of gives me a new perspective on your "self-injuring"..

--
He knew better than to pull on a thread;
They unravel like the thoughts in his head.
:iconpoisonfrog:
~poisonfrog Oct 3, 2003, 8:37:40 PM
yes, the sarcasticness, (while it might be hard to read directly unless you know it's there) is absolutely integral to the poem. I like the use of repetition, it brings out the different suble points, without distracting. The voice is full of pain, full of frustration.

Do you understand that it's not about death, but life?
It's not like I'm trying to kill myself when I cut.
Oh yes.
Each scar is a failed suicide attempt.
"I must really suck at killing myself, to have failed so often."

this is my favorite stanza - i've felt this way often, and you captured that feeling very well. Keep writing,
~poisonfrog

--
"I've knocked my inner dork askew...
and now I'm using tape to fix it!"
:iconcep:
~cep Oct 4, 2003, 7:55:07 PM
Well...starting on a light note...why on earth were you going to a hip hop party!?!?!? :)

Do you realize that I only want your love?
It's not like anything you're doing is helping me.
Oh yes.
We've spent an hour discussing my issues and I feel so loved.
"Thank you for showing me how much you care."

I love the last line...even though it was loaded with sarcasm...

I hope things worked out ok with your friend, because I'm sure she probably does care about you an incredible amount. It just must come as a shock, hearing that from someone that they might not of expected it from...the confusion, the questioning, the uncomprehension of 'why?'...I'm sure she was just trying to help in the only way she knew how....unfortunatly, that way was probably more destructive than anything else...

I'm not sure I understand the 5th and 6th stanzas....they seem contradictory
:icondarkskada:
~darkskada Oct 4, 2003, 8:24:58 PM
The fifth and sixth stanzas are meant to be contradictory. People go to such extremes. I can't just be me. I'm either invulnerable or I'm made out of glass. No one can find the balance. The fifth and sixth stanzas are to show that I am not one extreme or the other, but I am a balance; I am not glass nor steel, but human flesh. Sliced flesh. Bleeding flesh.

~ Skada ~

--
"And when we think we lead we are most led." - Lord Byron

Life is art.

Bodies Under Siege
:icondarksiren69:
~darksiren69 Oct 5, 2003, 6:08:08 AM
:+fav:

all that needs to be said.

i remember these convos.....though i wouldnt like to...
:iconthemuffinyamber:
~themuffinyamber Jun 13, 2004, 2:16:17 PM
Wow, this poem is awesome. I love the sarcasm, it's perfect and it gives the poem an attitude. i laughed when i read the first stansa, perfect way to start it! keep writing, i look forward to reading more of your poems soon.:clap: :headbang:
:iconlornamarie:
~LornaMarie Oct 8, 2004, 9:41:08 AM
this is really great....i love the sarcasm in the midst of the true feelings of wanting this person to really care and not just judge....saved and faved! :fusionrock:

--
"I'd rather suffer Icarus' fate than die in the labyrinth with the rest of them. At least I'll have flown; at least I'll know I tried to touch the sun."

Fuck those whose hearts are too blind to see.

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